On one hand, we have Aerie and Dove redefining beauty, and on the other I still want my double-chin 86'd. What level of editing is reasonable to expect in all our pictures, Ely?  

"Managed expectations are the key to happiness, right?? So when it comes to getting your photos, knowing what type of edits to expect is a good idea. Now, every photographer is different in their approach so it would be a good idea to ask what type of edits you can expect. That said, it’s unrealistic to think every photo will be ‘vanity-edited’.  

Our basic rule of thumb is that every photo is edited, meaning that it has been color and contrast corrected. All photos are given some loving care to make sure the image itself is the best possible.

The next tier of editing is beauty editing; I do beauty editing on portraits, and then a handful of other shots that I know are spectacular and frame worthy. Let's say that you have a zit, or a couple of flyaway hairs, bags under eyes – I'll help you out with those on the portrait images. Simple and basic fixes, things that are not normally part of you that happen to pop up on wedding day.

The next level of editing is what I call vanity editing. Think Kylie Jenner type editing – making you more skinny, removing double chins, editing things in the background, etc. These edits take a lot of specialized skill and time, and are not a realistic expectation for every photo in your gallery. However, requesting a few extensive edits on a handful of your favorites wouldn’t make us mad. We want you to feel beautiful and love your images!”

Probably the most disheartening thing you can do to a photographer is bombard them with specific images they need to ‘recreate’. Tell us why, Ely.

“I find that I don't shoot as well at a wedding when a bride wants us to recreate specific shots. The first thing it does is makes us feel like you don't trust us. But the main thing is that it disrupts our normal work method because I have to refer to those images instead of noticing the natural movements and flow of the day and making choices based on that.

In a technical sense, there are so many things that go into a photograph than just a specific pose. So many factors impact photos such as time of day, location, color palettes, the season, intensity of light, skin complextions, type of dress, and a lot more. Even if I try to recreate the photograph, it will still be completely different. But with all that said, it’s helpful to see images, especially of my own work, to see what is attractive to them and what feelings are most important to them that day. But there’s a difference between ‘copy this’ and ‘inspo’.”

Photo courtesy Ely Fair Photography

As a florist and stylist, I can say with complete accuracy that those fun ‘detail’ shots take fo-eva. The ribbon doesn’t magically lay right, those fancy wedding shoes are scuffed, it’s hard to get those rings to perch inside a garden rose and CRAP - the dog ate the moss ball. Everything is doable, though, if you allot enough time.

Ely says, “I got married over 10 years ago, and I often think to myself that I am SO glad that I got married before the era of wedding blogs and Pinterest. Although I LOVE all the special things that people do nowadays, I also think it must be exhausting to feel like you're competing for every little perfect detail to be unique.

As an artist I really love getting to do full coverage of a wedding with lay flat photos of all the little thoughtful details/invites/florals BUT they are a huge time sucker. You would be shocked at how difficult it is to do a beautiful lay flat of an invite. So if you want specialized photos of your detail shots, you might think about adding an hour to 1.5 before wedding coverage for the photographer to style. Or hire a stylist that will work with the photographer to make that process go more expertly.”

Yup, another truth. After the cake is cut, toasts are given, and the dances have wrapped they could bounce and you wouldn’t miss anything. Plus everyone likely has wine spilled on their bodices by now.

Ely says, “So I'm probably being a bad business person, but you don't need to hire me for every second of your wedding day. I often talk about how aside from the reception events like the dances, speeches, cake cutting, we could probably get all the dancing pics we would need to edit in 3 good songs because group dancing shots are not the ones that you will likely cherish and hang on your wall (or album). And sure, you probably want the ‘we’re leaving the wedding’ picture so let’s do that after the ceremony because it will be filled with non-boozy guests, lighting will be far better, and your make-up and hair will still be on point.”

Photo courtesy Ely Fair Photography

Sweet baby Jesus, she’s really preaching truth now! I can’t tell you how rudey-rude it is when a client looks at me and says, “Do I have to feed you?” Yes, Brenda, I actually need to eat something after being on my feet for the past 12 hours and Lord knows I can’t make a Taco Bell run mid-reception.  

Ely agrees, “Consider giving your vendors the same meal that you are serving your guests. We don't need a seat at a table (actually please don't give us one, we would rather wolf down our food in a closet) but your vendors work suuuper hard for you at your wedding, and we need 15 minutes to take a break and replenish some calories for energy to carry on.

I remember crying at a wedding when I was big and pregnant because I wasn’t given the guest-provided meal but rather a lunch meat sandwich that I was not allowed to consume while pregnant.

Also, I'm just gonna throw this out there: when your photographer feels like you've taken care of and valued them, they're much more likely to take the extra time to edit that bit of arm fat rather than just chalking it up to that's how you looked that day. Just being real here.”

There you have it, 8 hard truths from a seasoned wedding photographer. No vendor will say these things to your face but they sure are great to know! Did any of these tips surprise you? Will you approach your wedding photographer in a different light now that you're in-the-know? Let us know in the comments! Ely, thank you so much for sharing these fantastic tips with us!